Heartening story on a day of devastating news

Before talking about the devastating election news, a more positive entry. This is a story from a co-worker of mine that he said I could share with you.

My Mom is a Christian (in the truest sense of the word). She was raised in the Methodist church (my grandpa was a Methodist minister), and now is a deacon of the Nazarene church in our hometown in Oklahoma. When I came out to her 12 years ago, she was always telling me how worried she was about my soul, and that she was constantly praying for me to be changed, or to see the error of my ways, and give up this “lifestyle”. She always cried when I called because of this, and my brothers threatened to come up here and “beat it out of me” needless to say, I was concerned when I got a call from Mom last night asking about same-sex marriage. I give you this background to help you realize what I was expecting, and how shocked I was about her reaction. There was a ballot initiative in Oklahoma that would outlaw same-sex marriage and civil unions of any sort, and she wanted to know what my partner and I had to say about it (I just assumed that since she had this Christian background, and identified herself as a Christian, that she would be on the side of the conservative religious right in this, and I was wrong). I explained to her that even though I have been with my partner for 12 years now, and our bank accounts and all possessions are combined, if something happened to him, his family could come in and take everything we have together, prevent me from making medical decisions on his behalf, challenge legal wills, and a multitude of other things that are taken for granted in a hetero marriage, and that even common-law marriages have more rights than we do currently. I explained that we are being made second class citizens based on the simple fact that we are the same sex, and no other reason. I also explained to her that there are a small number of people who would like to take all our rights away, and this is just one step of many towards that end. She listened thoughtfully, asking clarifying questions, and we talked for about a half-hour about it, then I braced for the firestorm of condemnation she would normally unload on me when I called previously, and it never came. When I had finished explaining everything to her that I felt about it, she had made up her mind to vote against the measure in Oklahoma on the ballot today because as she put it “God meant for everyone to have choice in their lives, that is all about being human and anyone that takes that choice away is acting like God, and that is blasphemy, and I won’t be a part of it” she went on to say “I don’t think it can be changed or should be changed that you are gay, I don’t know if you were made that way or not, but as long as there is a possibility that it is internal and cannot be changed, I cannot judge anyone based on that. Besides, the Bible says there is only one judge, and we should not be putting ourselves in his place”. She said since my partner’s family had disowned him when he came out to them, that he was now her son with all the rights and privileges accorded to that position. I was more than floored by this, and got a feeling coming away from this that although I thought many years ago after coming out to her I would never have the same close relationship with my Mom as I always had when growing up, I now realize our relationship has just moved to a whole new level of respect and understanding. Above all, I realized with just one phone call that hope is never lost, only delayed. It took 12 years for my Mom to get to this point, and I know the world’s perceptions and many decades of discrimination will take a while to change, I have a hope that I didn’t have before this phone call that eventually the true Christians like my Mom will win out, and eventually basic rights will apply to everyone equally no matter what. I don’t know what I may have done in my former life to deserve a Mom as loving as mine, but I want to make sure I continue that into the future. Sorry about the long letter, but this is an encouraging sign I thought should be shared. BTW, my Mom & Dad are also voting for Kerry, are pro-choice, and believe we shouldn’t have gone to Iraq. Thanks for reading. ~RHamm

I find this story heartening not only because it shows that people can change and that there is a chance of conservatives and liberals finding common ground. In addition I found Rob's explanation of why same-sex marriage is important one of the most concise and convincing I've heard. I plan to commit it to memory for the next time I have the opportunity to sway someone. ;)